Saturday, 23 August 2014

Just Because I Need To

My entire life is falling apart right now I'm kind of lost at where to turn, my friends listen to me for about 10 minutes but always have to go to bed or are on their way out they never check if I'm ok the next day and when they listen a little longer they don't understand how serious this issue is. They just say I'm overreacting or it can't be that bad or I get the 'at least you have your grandparents' Yeah I have my grandparents but they're struggling with this too, I need someone who isn't them to talk to about it. I'm going to apologise now for this post because it's not funny, or happy but I need to let off some steam and I feel like this is better than punching a hole into the wall.  Also I want to talk about it but I can't without airing our families dirty laundry but please don't judge me at all.
For the past two months my family life has been falling apart, I've never had a good relationship with my mother but her new boyfriend has pretty much ruined the little we had. Let me give you a little background info though this boyfriend has been on the scene since June 13th (I only know the date 'cause they got together the Friday of Download Festival) and has lived with us since like July 2nd. Yes I know pretty quick but my mam's that kind of person. Anyway he hates me and my sister, we can't do a single thing, he wants my mam and the house to himself and now it's gotten to a stage where he has what he wants. He's tearing our family apart, he's made my mam turn against us everything. This isn't the worst bit my grandparents are ill and they've got to deal with it all. This is like 1% of the story and I feel like I'm falling apart never mind my family and I just don't know how to deal with it or what to do. What I need to say is I'm not annoyed or jealous or whatever because my mam has a new boyfriend it's the way he acts the things he does the way he's changing her and the things he's doing to our family. I want her to be happy but I can't just sit and let some guy she just met 2 months ago ruin our family. And kick us out of it. 
I just wish my friends would let me talk to them, would comfort me and would be there like friends are meant to be. I give them advice all the time and sit and listen to their problems but right now when I need them the most they couldn't care. It's always 'oh I'm off to bed sorry will speak in the morning' then they don't speak for days or its a 'sorry my boyfriend/girlfriend is here' or it's the 'it's not that bad surely' and it's so fucking frustrating. I'm just I don't know totally fed up, I don't want your sympathy though I just want a somewhat normal family.

Because of all this I'm taking a break from blogging until I feel like I'm in a better place to write in a cheery manner. I'm sorry to be all negative on my blog but it is my space for my thoughts and feelings and I have no where else to air this. I'm sorry. I do have a post due to go up on Monday though all about food but after that no posts will be published until I'm in a better situation. Please don't hate me or leave my blog though I have loads of old posts you can read!
Also I don't know how to disable comments so if do leave a comment don't leave any patronizing ones or any major sympathy ones.



  1. Hi Lovely,
    I wont be going anywhere while you have your much needed time off!
    I hope things pick up and we'll all be here when you get back xx

  2. Oh hun! I really hope the break helps you out. It's hard when the problems are so close to home. It is a little harsh that you aren't the priority in your mum's lives but obviously as I don't know her so I can't really comment. Sending you some massive hugs and I really hope it gets sorted out for you.

    Rhiannon x

  3. Awwwww Klo :( Sorry things are so shit .... I know we don't know each other that well but you are always welcome to come to Newcastle and meet me for cake if you want to vent xx

  4. I'm very sorry to read this. It's not right of your mother to let her boyfriend do what he wants in YOUR house. I understand what you mean about friends that are not here for you, I am struggling with a sickness and most of my friends don't get it or don't seem to really understand how serious it is. Hard times make you realize who your true friends are for sure! Stay safe x

  5. I'm so sorry about what's going on for you right now, I hope the break helps and things get sorted x

  6. Awwwh I hope your situation get better chick, a break will really help cause then your not needing to hiding your emotions through posting something. Your situation will get better and your real and true friends will be there for you in the end!
    Yasmina xx

  7. Hope youre okay! We are all here for you if you ever need a chat


  8. Fucking hell Kloe :( I'm so sorry this is happening! It sounds like an awful situation to be in and I want you to know that you can talk to me any time if you need to. Send me an email or shoot me a DM with your mobile number and I'll have a good long chat with you on Whatsapp or something? I hate to think of you suffering on your own. Screw your friends. They should be looking after you at a time like this! Xx